As much as I'd like to, I can't put my daughter in a bubble to protect her. Has she fractured her arm from jumping off the couch? Yes. Has she fallen a million times and scraped up her knees? Yes. Has she tried to ride the dogs like a pony and bumped her head or busted her lip open? Yes. Does that make me a bad mom? NO. It means my daughter is fearless and that I have to watch her closely but I can't protect her from everything. She has to learn a little on her own and figure out that there's certain things she can't do. All children fall, all the time actually. Mine just happens to be a spitting image of her mother; extremely clumsy!
My biggest issue with judgmental moms is when they judge other mothers on the decisions they make concerning their terminally ill child. I follow a few "fan" pages for terminally ill children and I ran across a picture of one of the children eating a candy bar bigger than their own body. The comments I read underneath that post were disturbing. "This is why America is so fat", "No wonder your child's so fat", "Great role model for all your followers. Teaching America's children that it's okay to be a fatty". What gives anyone the right to sit there and say that?!
FIRST OF ALL... if you knew anything about this family, you would know that the child is dying of an inoperable brain tumor. Who gives a flying sh*t if the kid is eating a million calories? How does this really affect other's lives? Shouldn't a child that is slowly dying have the opportunities to live life to the fullest? What gives? SECOND OF ALL... if you have any common sense than you would know that most children that are very sick are likely on steroids and a million other medications. That child was not fat, he was bloated from all the meds he's on! Get a clue, people!
Have you read Talia's bucket list? So many people are accomplishing many things on her bucket list in her honor and some of the comments I see are extremely disrespectful. "She shouldn't be wearing those clothes or so much make-up", "What makes her so special? Who cares if she's dead?". I care! I FREAKING CARE! Talia was a huge inspiration to many young girls and deserves to honored. It's not about her make-up tutorials for me or being an honorary Cover Girl. It's about showing young women that you are beautiful and special no matter what. It's about proving to young women that they can accomplish anything and to not let anyone stand in their way. It's about empowering young women to chase their dreams. And it's about showing everyone that life is way too short so we must make the best of it no matter our age.
Don't you think these mother's of terminally ill children have enough on their minds than having to worry about what other people are saying? Don't you think these mothers are hurting enough inside? Is it really necessary to hurt them anymore than their already hurting? I think not. There is absolutely no reason to bully a mother who's about to lose the most important person in her life.
I don't know what it's like to lose a child and I pray to God I never have to find out. It has to be the most scary, gut wrenching, heart breaking, and devastating thing that could ever happen to a mother. I sit here at night and think; I worry about something ever happening to my child and I just know it would be next to impossible to go on with life. This isn't something that just goes away with time. The death of a child will stick with you forever and hurt just as long.
Instead of wasting your time judging another mother's decisions on how to raise their children or bullying the mother of a terminally ill child, try to find something better to do with your time. Maybe volunteer for the family of a terminally ill child, become a bone marrow donor at Be the Match, or volunteer for the Gold Hope Project. You could even donate money to any juvenile cancer research fund like Alex's Lemonade Stand, St. Jude Children's Research Hospital, St. Baldrick's, the ACCO, Give Kids the World Village, Cure Search, People Against Childhood Cancer, or to any of the wish granting foundations like Make-A-Wish, Hunt of a Lifetime, and Sunshine Foundation. There's so many other things you could be spending your energy on, good things.
We need to give these helpless feeling mothers strength and a shoulder to cry on, not our useless and uneducated opinions. There's no reason to bully an already vulnerable mother. The next time you decide to "put in your two cents", please reconsider. PLEASE take that hurting mother's feelings into account and instead praise her on what a wonderful mother she is for doing everything she possibly can to make her dying child happy and unafraid.